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Friday, September 14, 2018

writing good intros

WHO: Room 7
WHAT: played the maths game
WHEN: Thursday 14th September
WHERE: in the hall
WHY: to practice our maths skills
HOW: we walked there, in teams of 6.

Bad Intro:  Room 7 played the maths game. It was Thursday 14th September 2018. We were in the hall. We did it to practice our maths skills. We walked there and we were in teams. 
*notice how the information are all in separate sentences* - don’t do that, it’s boring to read.

On Thursday morning (the 14th September 2018), Room 7 walked out the to the hall to play the maths game. Room 7 plays this game so we can practice our maths skills and have a bit of a running around break.
*Put the information into sentences TOGETHER. Much better to read*

WHO: Me and my family
WHAT: went to the beach
WHEN: Saturday 8th September
WHERE: Mission bay
WHY: to have fun and enjoy the sunshine
HOW: drove in the car
Intro:On saturday 8th of september 2018  me and family drove  in  the car to the beach to have fun and enjoy the sunshine.


WHO: me and my best friend
WHAT: went to the movies and had lunch
WHEN: on Sunday 9th September
WHERE: Sylvia Park
WHY: for my birthday
HOW: mum dropped us off in the car
Intro:On sunday  9th September 2018 It was my Birthday and my mum dropped us of  us off in the car at Sylvia Park to go watch a movie and had  lunch .


WHO: Me and my family
WHAT: went to nana’s house
WHEN: after church on Sunday 9th September
WHERE: nana’s house in Panmure
WHY: to have lunch together, help plan for cousins 21st party
HOW: drove in the van
Intro: On sunday 9th September 2018 after church me and my family went to  nana's  house at Panmure  to have lunch  together  and help plan for cousins 21st part. 

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